xvampirexmariex's Xanga

Song I wrote

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:57:13 GMT

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Drowning in Our Sins

Once upon a time, the world was alive

Once upon a time, the flowers bloomed,

No more

The ace was in our hands, threw it away

Had it all just to lose it in the end

Ignorance, vanity, greed, and belligerence

Look where it got us

No paradise, only a man-made hell

Hypocritical oath of honesty

Led by political bullshit

The fires burn, the world floods, the children suffer

A self-created apocalypse

Can you hear the people screaming?

Screaming in a choir of melancholic song

It’s a perpetual downward spiral towards insanity

I don’t need your preaching, you self-righteous, self-proclaiming bastards

Just let me be, let me live to my own accord

How long until we’re hanging from our necks?

How long until we’re bled dry from social suicide?

Until the day we see the truth, we’ll never be free from our transgressions

Drowning in our sins

Prologue to my Novel

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:53:03 GMT

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As a human being I used to believe that I was immortal, that I was immune because of my luck. Of course that wasn’t the case because humans are fragile, with their bodies’ so easily broken. I was ignorant then, believing that there weren’t any consequences for my actions. It wasn’t until my death where I finally faced the truth, which was that life is full of consequences and I was no where near invincible.

I never gave much thought to my actions while I was living. My life more or less was empty. I had no family since I was an orphan from a very young age, and the people who had raised me just did not care. I had never seen the world clearly through my eyes because of all the things that had gone wrong during my childhood, so as a teenager even to my young adulthood where my life came to a halt, I had the tendency to live by my own rules. I disliked authority and didn’t give a damn about other people’s lives.

I had been a kid who was extremely lucky for being unlucky in terms of my situation. I always seemed to manage to get out of a situation without the consequences most would have to face. This was most likely the root of my ignorance as a teenager, believing that no matter what I did could not harm me or cause any consequences.

I often ponder the reason why I was given a second chance. When I died that day it was only the end of my human life, but why was I given a new life? I certainly did not deserve the second chance especially because of how wretched of a human being I had been while alive. Even though many moons have passed since then, I still find myself in disgust about what I had once been, a monster of my own sorts.

I’ve been told many times that everything happens for a reason, that my human life was just the prequel to my greater story as an immortal being--a vampire. I however, do not believe this. What could possibly be my purpose here on Earth? I cannot begin to logically grasp the idea that any good can come from what I am, a monster.

Why would I be meant to slaughter countless innocent people while I was a living, breathing human being only to become a blood-thirsty, soulless immortal? The irony in all of it however, is that even with becoming something that while I was alive I idolized, I am appalled at the very thought of using my enhancements of sorts as some choose to call it. Some call it a blessing, I call it a curse.

Poem I just wrote

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:52:00 GMT

from time to time I'll put up a poem I wrote or song, and sometimes I'll put up a chapter or 2 of the novel I'm writing =]
here we go
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Best Friend

If I were to look up the definition of a best friend, I’d find you there

If I need someone’s shoulder to cry on

If I need someone to hold me

You’re always there

You’re the one I can always depend on,

To chase away the monsters

The smell of you, the warmth of your body

The feeling I get when you hold me

Content beyond description

You’re apart of me and always will be

Though we will be apart for a time

Know that I love you

Know that nothing will come between us

You are the part of me that is permanently in my heart

I’ll always be your friend

No matter where life takes us, know that I love you

We’ll always have our memories

Of laughs, tears, fears, and love

The hugs and kisses

The times we’ve shared together

You really are my best friend

I love you

this poem was written for Logan <3 I love ya Logan =]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:28:37 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, Hi! :D